THE K53 OF LIFE

I recently went for my driving license test which was for the second time (ok, third time, but the first I didn’t even get to take it because I forgot my ID book). As most of you may know, even those who bought their license, that this is a really nerve wrecking experience. Primarily I think it’s not so much about the test but about the money you spend just for this test, it comes with a hefty price tag, excluding the Value Added Tax of examiner bribe (it’s an unspoken, but very clear and loud discrepancy).

So as I said I went for my test and of course the last thing I dreaded was failing. Nervous as hell, I started humming the Stratton Oakmont tribal song from The Wolf of Wall Street movie. I kept on humming it and beating my chest in order to keep the nerves out and remain calm and focus, this went on for 20 minutes as I was waiting for my instructor. So fine I went in did the whole 9 yards of the Yard test, then got slapped with a FAIL AGAIN!! Mind you I didn’t roll, which would have been an immediate disqualification, I didn’t hit the poles, immediate disqualification. I didn’t even pee myself, which was a huge accomplishment because I got The-Devil-Wears-Prada of an examiner (he was male by the way). So I didn’t do anything from my knowledge that would have accounted for my failure. So as I was now finished with the last test waiting to hear what next he said I should step out of the car and started telling me how I didn’t OBSERVE after my car stalled and blah blah blah blah!! OBSERVE observe observe, he went on and on!! And I am the thinking, “you got to be shitting with me!” That! Because of few missed observations that didn’t cause any accidents!? Flip!!

So I got my fail again, and drove off very irritated to my teacher and she asked what happened told her the whole observe shit story and she was like “WTF!”, but she knew that the guy who was my examiner was The Devil Wears Prada in a flesh. She told me how everyone in the yard was talking about me, how good I was and how I really gave it to the devil freak. Now I don’t know if she was just BS-ing me but she really did seem sincere, even the guys who were with here attested to that. But nonetheless, I failed. It reminds of what Napoleon Hill said, that, “Failure permits no alibi, Success permits no explanation.”

We all never want to fail in life. In fact we are mortified of failure. We just want to succeed throughout, hence some of us would opt to do anything to avoid failure, like bribing an examiner. We will do anything to avoid that horrible thing known as failure. However what many of us really don’t know and fail to see, lol, is that failure is the actual success, and is the actual teacher about success. That the thing that we aim in acquiring is not as important as the step towards it. Most of us don’t see that it’s about the person you are becoming in pursuing your successes. As cliché as it sound, failure is the like a ladder that you have to climb to move up. Each ramp is a step closer to the top but still lower than it. Each ramp is a success and failure at the same time, for it is a “failure” from the ultimate goal, but a success from the previous ramp.

In life we each are driving the course that has been set before us, sometimes by default, sometimes by intention, and most of the time with not much awareness of the rules of the road, and that once in a while we will be inspected to see if we are aware of these rules, and that if not we will be made aware of them with a fine, a delay or even ridiculous failure for not Observing them. However it is important to always be wanting to fail, because it eases up on your self-criticism and high expectations of thinking you always know it all. It’s important to want to experience failure because it releases you from fear and makes you more alive. Most of us live our lives in constant fear; fear of criticism, fear of judgement, fear of loss, and even fear of failure, and even fear of success. Fear of failure is also is a fear of success, for we invariably know that in order to succeed we must fail, and since we don’t want to fail, we then fail to succeed.

I suppose I could’ve just opted for the road most travelled by and just coaxing the instructor into accepting my bribe to pass. I would be having my license now and “saved” money and the torture of having to go through the nerve wrecking experience again for the third, (ok fourth time, but again I didn’t really do my first test). But if I did do it, I wouldn’t know what I know now and wouldn’t be able to write a piece like this. What I am being taught from a broader perspective is the love of failure instead of fear. The appreciation of the journey and the person I am becoming because of it instead of the instant arrival to the destination. After all a road trip is not really a road trip if there is not much road to travel on. The same is true about success, success isn’t really a success if there is not much failure to go through. Sometimes it’s easier to short cut yourself from the person you can become, but is it wiser? Sooner or later you going to have to go through the refinery process of becoming the person you had taken a pass on becoming.

The most important thing to remember is this, “Failure is an attitude, not the outcome.”  Whenever you think you have failed, think again and see what lesson have you now got that you didn’t have before the experience you have labelled as failure, and you will see that you never really have failure just a lack of your awareness of the success and gains you are handed each time things don’t go as you may have liked them to. It’s all a mind game. And one last thought, whatever your challenges in life and whatever the obstacles remember this well know wisdom from Jim Rohn who took it from his mentor, it says “Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.” Be mindful of this wisdom and remember that you never really get this journey of life done and so you can never get it wrong.

Much love.