I recently went for my driving license test which was for
the second time (ok, third time, but the first I didn’t even get to take it
because I forgot my ID book). As most of you may know, even those who bought
their license, that this is a really nerve wrecking experience. Primarily I
think it’s not so much about the test but about the money you spend just for
this test, it comes with a hefty price tag, excluding the Value Added Tax of examiner
bribe (it’s an unspoken, but very clear and loud discrepancy).
So as I said I went for my test and of course the last thing
I dreaded was failing. Nervous as hell, I started humming the Stratton Oakmont tribal
song from The Wolf of Wall Street movie. I kept on humming it and beating my
chest in order to keep the nerves out and remain calm and focus, this went on
for 20 minutes as I was waiting for my instructor. So fine I went in did the
whole 9 yards of the Yard test, then got slapped with a FAIL AGAIN!! Mind you I
didn’t roll, which would have been an immediate disqualification, I didn’t hit
the poles, immediate disqualification. I didn’t even pee myself, which was a
huge accomplishment because I got The-Devil-Wears-Prada of an examiner (he was
male by the way). So I didn’t do anything from my knowledge that would have
accounted for my failure. So as I was now finished with the last test waiting
to hear what next he said I should step out of the car and started telling me
how I didn’t OBSERVE after my car stalled and blah blah blah blah!! OBSERVE
observe observe, he went on and on!! And I am the thinking, “you got to be
shitting with me!” That! Because of few missed observations that didn’t cause
any accidents!? Flip!!
So I got my fail again, and drove off very irritated to my
teacher and she asked what happened told her the whole observe shit story and
she was like “WTF!”, but she knew that the guy who was my examiner was The
Devil Wears Prada in a flesh. She told me how everyone in the yard was talking
about me, how good I was and how I really gave it to the devil freak. Now I
don’t know if she was just BS-ing me but she really did seem sincere, even the
guys who were with here attested to that. But nonetheless, I failed. It reminds
of what Napoleon Hill said, that, “Failure permits no alibi, Success permits no
explanation.”
We all never want to fail in life. In fact we are mortified
of failure. We just want to succeed throughout, hence some of us would opt to
do anything to avoid failure, like bribing an examiner. We will do anything to
avoid that horrible thing known as failure. However what many of us really
don’t know and fail to see, lol, is that failure is the actual success, and is
the actual teacher about success. That the thing that we aim in acquiring is
not as important as the step towards it. Most of us don’t see that it’s about
the person you are becoming in pursuing your successes. As cliché as it sound,
failure is the like a ladder that you have to climb to move up. Each ramp is a
step closer to the top but still lower than it. Each ramp is a success and
failure at the same time, for it is a “failure” from the ultimate goal, but a
success from the previous ramp.
In life we each are driving the course that has been set
before us, sometimes by default, sometimes by intention, and most of the time
with not much awareness of the rules of the road, and that once in a while we
will be inspected to see if we are aware of these rules, and that if not we
will be made aware of them with a fine, a delay or even ridiculous failure for
not Observing them. However it is important to always be wanting to fail,
because it eases up on your self-criticism and high expectations of thinking
you always know it all. It’s important to want to experience failure because it
releases you from fear and makes you more alive. Most of us live our lives in
constant fear; fear of criticism, fear of judgement, fear of loss, and even
fear of failure, and even fear of success. Fear of failure is also is a fear of
success, for we invariably know that in order to succeed we must fail, and
since we don’t want to fail, we then fail to succeed.
I suppose I could’ve just opted for the road most travelled
by and just coaxing the instructor into accepting my bribe to pass. I would be
having my license now and “saved” money and the torture of having to go through
the nerve wrecking experience again for the third, (ok fourth time, but again I
didn’t really do my first test). But if I did do it, I wouldn’t know what I
know now and wouldn’t be able to write a piece like this. What I am being
taught from a broader perspective is the love of failure instead of fear. The
appreciation of the journey and the person I am becoming because of it instead
of the instant arrival to the destination. After all a road trip is not really
a road trip if there is not much road to travel on. The same is true about
success, success isn’t really a success if there is not much failure to go
through. Sometimes it’s easier to short cut yourself from the person you can
become, but is it wiser? Sooner or later you going to have to go through the
refinery process of becoming the person you had taken a pass on becoming.
The most important thing to remember is this, “Failure is an
attitude, not the outcome.” Whenever you
think you have failed, think again and see what lesson have you now got that
you didn’t have before the experience you have labelled as failure, and you
will see that you never really have failure just a lack of your awareness of
the success and gains you are handed each time things don’t go as you may have
liked them to. It’s all a mind game. And one last thought, whatever your
challenges in life and whatever the obstacles remember this well know wisdom
from Jim Rohn who took it from his mentor, it says “Don’t wish it was easier,
wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t
wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.” Be mindful of this wisdom and
remember that you never really get this journey of life done and so you can never get it wrong.
Much love.
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